Day 15 - Half way there!

I can’t believe it! I’ve been on the Whole30 for a full 15 days! I’ve eaten and drank only what’s allowed every single day! Tired or not. Bored or not. Tempted or not. Where is this strength coming from?!? I had no idea I could be this determined. I mean, I know I’m strong. I prove it to myself all the time going through life, taking care of things, and being fairly successful. But I don’t think I’ve ever been so good at taking care of myself. It’s about freakin’ time!

The thing is, I’ve been single for years! (Seems like forever sometimes.) The only serious relationship I had that lasted more than a few months was with my daughter’s father. We were friends for about 2 years, then we were a couple for about 6 or 7 years. I ended that relationship about 13 years ago, and nothing more than a few months with any guy since then. Since I was a little girl, I’ve been waiting to find “my true love”. And I guess in a way, I’ve felt all my life that once I’d find him, THEN life will be worth it and I could start taking care of myself for him, and taking care of him. I know: pathetic.

I have no idea why I started feeling that way. But I truly remember being little, maybe 8 or 9 years old, laying in my twin bed daydreaming about the day I would finally be loved. (And it’s not because my parents didn’t love me. I know they did. Very much so.)

So I guess now something has switched inside me where I finally stop waiting for him and start taking care of me. Build it and they will come? lol Anyway, regardless of what happens on the romantic front, I know that I really need to take care of myself in every way. Like I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I’m 40 years old now. Built up “abuse” that I’ve put my body through all of these years with the terrible non-food I was ingesting was bound to start manifesting itself soon in ways other than being over weight if I didn’t make these changes. I don’t want a long UNHEALTHY life full of pain and regret.

I don’t know if it’s psychological or real, but it seems that my face has changed a bit. I’m noticing my cheekbones. Seems like I haven’t seen them in a while. I look at myself in the mirror. It looks like a different version of me. I don’t think anyone else notices though. But in my eyes, I look different.

I forgot to mention; since the beginning of this Whole 30, I’ve been drinking my coffee black. It was hard the first few coffees. I didn’t like it much. But being free from headaches made the bad taste worth it. Now, after 13 days of black coffee, I’m pretty much used to it. I was actually considering this morning that I will drink it like this from now on. Not because I truly enjoy the taste, but because it’s healthier for me to drink it black. No more milk and sugar.

Breakfast: “baked” apple with almond butter, and a black coffee.

Lunch: Leftover pork chop, baked potato, and broccoli.

Supper: Tilapia, zoodles, half a pomelo.